Patriots and humanity in Boston

I've been working frantically on my Abstract Poster Presentation about Readmissions to a PICU for the big Critical Care Nursing Convention. The slides are due in a week! It's exciting and a little nerve racking since I've never done anything like this before. But it's such an honor and an incredible opportunity to share research I've done with thousands of nurses across the nation who all want to provide the best care to the patients they serve.

Next month I will be in Boston absorbing the patriotism and history of this great city. I've been preparing for this visit by reading Paul Revere's Ride and Seven Miracles that Saved America.   The dedication and sacrifice of the people who came before us is immense. Think of the Native Americans and the struggles and illnesses they also endured.

Next month I will stand in Copley Square remembering the bravery and courage of humanity. We've all watched the heroes running toward the danger, providing care and comfort to those who had carnage afflicted upon them.We're grateful to our law enforcement officers and our veterans and our compassionate bystanders. We've come together to offer support and comfort for our nation.


My birth son, Spencer, put it best: "Sometimes people do bad things, but oddly enough, that’s often when you see more people doing the best things."

Our nation is facing great challenges. Let's carry this unity forward, decreasing the vitriol, the dividing labels, and the caustic rhetoric. Temper your criticisms and offer compromise and then urge your Senators and Representatives to do the same. Let's start with civility for ourselves and help it spread to others.

Optimism - believing in the power of good

 I've been thinking about happiness and optimism recently. Especially at work, it seems everything is fine and dandy until the last few hours when it all comes crashing down and I'm grouchy and irritable. Why is this? Am I just tired? Hungry? What? Maybe the little issues throughout the day just pile up.

                                       

I can identify some behaviors that decrease my happiness. For example, playing mindless games on the
computer or my friend Kindle for extended periods of time depresses me. I start just to unwind or relax  
for a few moments but if I continue, I wallow in the wake of wasting time. Conversely, I can spend hours reading a book without negative repercussions. I think the difference is the impact to my soul. Reading a book replenishes me but mindless time wasters suck the energy and emotion away. You might wonder why I even start the inevitable time sucking games. Easy answer. I'm too overwhelmed to know where to start, even if I'm excited about a project. Does anyone else have this problem?

I do think I'm a fairly optimistic person. I do have hopefulness and confidence about the future, which is one definition. My favorite definition of optimism, though, is believing in the power of good.

How do you measure happiness? Just ask Gallup - they try to measure everything. But this was interesting:  In 2011, Gallup conducted a world wide survey asking just five questions. How would you answer these questions?

1. Were you treated with respect all day yesterday?
2. Did you experience enjoyment yesterday?                                   
3. Did you smile and laugh a lot yesterday?
4. Did you feel well-rested yesterday?
5. Did you do or learn something interesting yesterday?

Over all, eight of the top ten most happy countries were in Latin America. Paraguay and Panama tied with 85% of the respondents answering 'yes.'

In the United States 76% of us were happy and the lowest measured countries were Singapore, Armenia and Iraq where only 46% to 50% of the respondents answered affirmatively.

It's interesting to me that feeling respected was part of this group of questions. It seems to me this is the only question that one cannot influence and yet, this scored higher than any other question at a whopping 85%. I listed the questions in order of their ranking.
1. 85%
2. 73%
3. 72%
4. 72%
5. 46%                               To see the study, click here.

How do you feel about these questions? Do you agree with them? What is important to your happiness?

What is your story?

"Story is the glue that holds humanity together and invites the world to remember what it's like to feel."
                                                                                           -Teresa Clark, visit her site  Storyteller


From the time I was young, my Grandma Roundy told me stories of her pioneer ancestors. She instilled within my soul the desire to keep that connection alive, to remember and celebrate their lives, their courage and their contributions to our family.


I've been attending the RootsTech Convention in Salt Lake City
which has been absolutely fabulous. I've met incredibly nice people from all over -  Washington D.C., Illinois, Idaho, Alaska, New York, Georgia - who also have that desire to connect with their ancestors. I've learned new and more effective ways to search for my family. I've been introduced to products and services to assist in this endeavor. I've been encouraged and motivated to find more information and, most importantly, to share it with others - especially my own children, nieces and nephews. So watch for more to come.


Tonight my husband and daughter joined me for An Evening of Storytelling which was utterly delightful. Thanks to Clive Romney,  Syd Lieberman, Ginger Parkinson, Jan Smith, and Kim Weitkamp, for sharing their talents with us and for inspiring me to tell my own stories.


"Once I understand someone's story my heart opens and I can love and have empathy towards them."
                                                                                    -Ginger Parkinson, visit her site  Ginger Tales

Bisphenol A

 I'm not really an extremist and haven't been overly concerned about BPA. In fact, I didn't know much about it but when I read that cash                    register receipts had BPA in them, I was a little freaked. So, like everyone with an enquiring mind, I did some research. I'll give you the basics, list some sources for information, and, finally, leave you with my conclusions.

Basic Information
** 93% of people test positive for BPA in their bodies.

** Bisphenol A (BPA) is an endocrine disrupting chemical found in polycarbonate plastics and epoxy resins. It is a hard, clear plastic and may have the recycling code 3 or 7.

 ** Most exposure is through the diet. BPA is found in water bottles, compact discs, impact-resistant safety equipment, and thermal paper cash register receipts. Epoxy resins are used to coat metal food cans.

** "The NTP- National Toxicology Program - has some concern for effects on the brain, behavior, and prostate gland in fetuses, infants, and children at current human exposures to bisphenol A."
 

• Don’t microwave polycarbonate plastic food containers.
• Plastic containers have recycle codes on the bottom. Some, but not all, plastics that are marked with recycle codes 3 or 7 may be made with BPA.
• Reduce your use of canned foods.
• When possible, opt for glass, porcelain or stainless steel containers, particularly for hot food or liquids.
• Wash your hands after handling cash register receipts. Transfer of BPA occurs from hand to mouth.

My conclusions:
I am not going to freak out about BPA but I will avoid it as much as possible by following the suggestions above. I will watch for further research.

For me, the best practice: Just like always, whole food is best. Avoid artificial flavorings, colorings, sweeteners. That said, I'm still not ready to give up Coke Zero.

Resources - click to view
Cancer Institute - difficulties proving cancer risks  difficulties using animal studies data in regard to humans
National Intitute of Health report
Mayo Clinic - What are the concerns with BPA?
JAMA -Association with BPA and Obesity while controlling for other factors
Environmental health sciences anything else you're worried about: cell phone radiation, air pollution, mold

To my precious daughter

(kellyraeroberts.com)

So, you're moving out on your own. I knew this day would come; I've been preparing for it since you were little. Here's what I want you to remember. None of this is new because we've talked about it all along.

Save Sex

Sex without a marriage commitment is emotionally and physically risky. Unattached sexual encounters are ego-driven, selfish, and damaging. It is my belief that a piece of your soul is lost with each act. You've witnessed this pain from different angles. Be wise.

Condoms
Use it if you do it. Sexually Transmitted Diseases, STIs, are prevalent. Many of them last forever and may end your life prematurely. They may threaten the life of unborn children far in the future. Antibiotics are quickly becoming ineffective and the world will shortly be in crisis.

Addiction
A substance that affects any of your senses will limit your choices. This means you will not be in control of yourself. Who will be in charge? Your worldly ego or friends and acquaintances may promote a path to destruction. Beware of drugs you cannot taste or smell. Please be careful.

Go to Church
Spend time on Sunday to feel God's love for you. It is a gift only you can give and a gift only you can receive.  Spend some time on your knees each day. Ask for and expect inspiration and guidance in your life.

Avoid Evil
There is a war for your soul. Evil places attract evil things. Jesus Christ will save you. Please let him. He will help you, guide you, and carry you.  Our American society will entice you with many things that are 'no big deal.' Do not be deceived. Be true to your spirit.

(kellyraeroberts.com)

Choose Happiness

You have the power to choose your attitude. Misery will often knock at your door. Choose happiness to banish negativity.

Love

The only way to solve anything is with love. It is universally felt and understood. Rabbi Harold Kushner said, 'When you are kind to others, it not only changes you, it changes the world.'

Unconditional Guarantee
I will love you always -  no matter where you are or what you do.  You are embedded in my heart. You are daddy's little girl and that will never change. We are here for you anytime. We have full confidence in you and the woman you will become.

    Love,
    Mom and Dad

    References:   Teen-aid psychological arguments for abstinence

Positively happy

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," said Abraham Lincoln and I believe he's right. I was thinking about the benefits of being positive today and I'm going to share a few concrete, specific ideas that have worked for me.




"Water the flowers, not the weeds."
It is true that what we focus on tends to grow, so, as Indiana Joneswas wisely advised, "choose wisely." When I look for the good in people - like my children - I am more apt to be cheerful rather than grumbling and growling. It's about counting your blessings.




Commit to not complain
One morning as I was driving to work, the internal voice in my head was grousing and listing complaints. It was 6:30 in the morning. Traffic was not a problem. I was alone so I wasn't arguing with anybody. Why was I so miserable? As I stopped at an intersection, waiting for the green light, I had an epiphany: Shauna, if you keep complaining your entire day will be miserable. With that thought, I realized that was not what I wanted. I committed then to not complain for the rest of the day. With that, I immediately felt lighter and brighter. I kept my promise to myself and amazingly had a great day. (Full disclosure: I complained twice but caught myself as soon as the words left my mouth. I am human, after all.)


The Ta-da list
One night I lay in bed reviewing my to-do list and counted how many things I didn't get done. It was discouraging and demoralizing. Then I remembered some advice from book club. It goes like this. When kids are little and learning at a fast pace, we praise their every accomplishment. 'You built a tower of blocks! How wonderful. Ta-da!'  It's a celebration and a recognition of their effort.  So I started listing the things I did do that day. What I found was that I focused less on the tasks and more on the relationships. It was very enlightening. Try it!
                                  (Found this graphic on this blog: Why I scrapped my to do list
                                    Looked interesting. I might give it another look.)


Kind of goes along with the only wrapper I've ever saved from a Dove chocolate: "the more you praise and celebrate in life, the more in life there is to celebrate."  I put that on my fridge.








Time limit
Sometimes I mess up, or I make a mistake, or I'm mean and grouchy. It happens to all of us. This is what I tell my friends at work. 'You did use poor judgement. So think about it, beat your self up about it, wallow in your failing. Cry and yell as much as you need to. Think about what you shoulda, coulda done. Do all of it for five minutes. Then stop. And move on.'

It is important to acknowledge the problem, to actually face it and all the horrible attendant emotions that make us feel so badly. It's a way for us to process the problem. So review it and learn from it and then move on. This might be why this particular scripture in Psalms is so meaningful to me: "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning."

So my question now is, what works for you?

Prolonging life: the ethics of suffering

I"ve shared with you Mitchell's Journey on facebook. This young boy and his family are facing his impending death from a terminal illness. I watch this kind of heart wrenching experience regularly at the bedsides of children in the Intensive Care Unit. It is agonizing and never gets easier.

On the other hand, I also see, and participate in, prolonging the life of a child at any cost and with all available life support and technology. In most situations this is the appropriate and right thing to do. Other times, my soul feels pummeled as we continue to provide everything to a frail and battered body that has fought for as long and as hard as it can. After each treatment, with each setback and failure to improve, we ignore the message the child is sending, "I can't fight anymore, please, let me go."

As I followed Mitchell's Journey, I was in awe of his family's love and devotion to him. Through the pictures and stories I saw their desire to give him any experience to bring a smile to his face, to celebrate happy moments, to spend all the minutes of all the days with him before his death.

Then came the announcement of an LVAD to prolong his life and everything inside of me screamed NO! In my mind this was wrong. It would mean separating and splitting his family to travel hundreds of miles away, to surgically implant an extremely invasive machine into his heart, to attach his body to a large and cumbersome machine forever. It would mean forcing his weak, fragile body to undergo anesthesia, fight to recover and regain what little strength he had before, wait for his body to accept this foreign device. It would mean balancing blood thinners and preventing an infection that could be deadly. He would have to spend weeks in a hospital far away from his home and his family and friends that he loves. In the best case scenario, it would prolong his life. But it is not a cure. He would still die and his parents would still grieve.

Mitchell's family decided not to pursue the LVAD. I felt vindicated for my opinion then disappointed in myself for judging his parents about a decision that was not mine to make.

Tell me: why does this cause me such distress and anguish? He's not my son or nephew or neighbor. He is a boy I have come to know through a blog his father shares with the world. The naked emotions his father exhibits bring back my own experiences. Author and physician Samuel M. Brown put it best:

               
                There is something like a community of people who have suffered the death of a 
                loved one. Those of us who have lost a parent or a lover or a friend or a child know
                something that no one else does. It is not a language, really, but a shared awareness 
                that is difficult to communicate to someone who has not experienced such grief.

This is a tragic situation of loss and one that will repeat itself hundreds of time a day in our country alone.
This is what my blog is about: to open dialog, to explore suffering, to have discussions about dying. As an Intensive Care nurse, I am uniquely positioned to see the duality of technology,  saving lives and prolonging suffering. I firmly believe that our American society fears death - that inevitable experience we all will have and cannot escape. Only through knowledge and discussion can we accept severe illness and approaching death as a place to gather friends and family, lean on the strength of community, and celebrate that life, that soul, who is most precious to us.

Parenting Payback: Eagle Court of Honor

This is what every parent wishes for, waits for, and prays for: completion of a child's major accomplishment. Tonight was the crowning celebration for Spencer as he received his Eagle Award in Scouting.

I admit to celebrating early when the paperwork was completed; this was just icing on the cake. A big thanks to all the men who have helped him on his journey of growth and discovery. I so appreciate their sacrifices of time and their dedication to my son and his scout troop. I firmly believe this is a life altering accomplishment.

He was confident as he shared the details of  his project. He chose Organ Donation Awareness and shared information and flyers at the local college tailgating party prior to the game.

I join him in urging everyone to consider organ donation. That selfless gift can save several lives. Talk with your family, explore the possibilities. Make sure they know what your wishes are. Then if, God forbid, the unthinkable happens to your loved one, your heart and mind will be in the right place to offer that life saving gift. It can bring something good out of a tragedy. Do it today! And if you have any questions, I am happy to share more details.

For more information, click on one of the links.          Yes Utah.org            Organ Donor.gov

As a special added bonus, we took a family photo. All you moms out there will appreciate the the scarcity of this opportunity.

Like I said, this was definitely a payback day.

Anasazi Ridge

All the times I've been to St. George, Utah and I haven't known about Anasazi Ridge high above the Santa Clara river. Thankfully, that was rectified this weekend. Several hundred petroglyphs are found on these sandstone boulders.



  












Anasazi means "Ancient Ones" who are thought to be the ancestors of the Pueblo Indians.   They lived in Four Corners area between A.D. 200 to A.D. 1300. Recent research reveals they may be related to the hunter-gatherers found as early as 6,000 B. C.  Think about time that far back boggles my mind.                                           Anasazi in Utah

                                                                                         

People are represented as several different forms.  I like the figures that have three digits. I'm also partial to the square sheep or cows and I find the tight spirals fascinating.

And finally, a word of advice, when hiking in Southern Utah avoid the summer months. Early Spring is great and a brisk breeze will just make things perfect.