"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," said Abraham Lincoln and I believe he's right. I was thinking about the benefits of being positive today and I'm going to share a few concrete, specific ideas that have worked for me.
"Water the flowers, not the weeds."
It is true that what we focus on tends to grow, so, as Indiana Joneswas wisely advised, "choose wisely." When I look for the good in people - like my children - I am more apt to be cheerful rather than grumbling and growling. It's about counting your blessings.
Commit to not complain
One morning as I was driving to work, the internal voice in my head was grousing and listing complaints. It was 6:30 in the morning. Traffic was not a problem. I was alone so I wasn't arguing with anybody. Why was I so miserable? As I stopped at an intersection, waiting for the green light, I had an epiphany: Shauna, if you keep complaining your entire day will be miserable. With that thought, I realized that was not what I wanted. I committed then to not complain for the rest of the day. With that, I immediately felt lighter and brighter. I kept my promise to myself and amazingly had a great day. (Full disclosure: I complained twice but caught myself as soon as the words left my mouth. I am human, after all.)
The Ta-da list
One night I lay in bed reviewing my to-do list and counted how many things I didn't get done. It was discouraging and demoralizing. Then I remembered some advice from book club. It goes like this. When kids are little and learning at a fast pace, we praise their every accomplishment. 'You built a tower of blocks! How wonderful. Ta-da!' It's a celebration and a recognition of their effort. So I started listing the things I did do that day. What I found was that I focused less on the tasks and more on the relationships. It was very enlightening. Try it!(Found this graphic on this blog: Why I scrapped my to do list
Looked interesting. I might give it another look.)
Time limit
Sometimes I mess up, or I make a mistake, or I'm mean and grouchy. It happens to all of us. This is what I tell my friends at work. 'You did use poor judgement. So think about it, beat your self up about it, wallow in your failing. Cry and yell as much as you need to. Think about what you shoulda, coulda done. Do all of it for five minutes. Then stop. And move on.'
It is important to acknowledge the problem, to actually face it and all the horrible attendant emotions that make us feel so badly. It's a way for us to process the problem. So review it and learn from it and then move on. This might be why this particular scripture in Psalms is so meaningful to me: "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning."
So my question now is, what works for you?
No comments:
Post a Comment